Sunday 29 July 2012

Raakhi Ka Tyohaar He.

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Har Ladki Aapke Liye Bekarar Hai
Har Ladki Ko Aap Ka Intezar Hai
Ye Aap Ka Koi Kamal Nahi
Kuch He Dino Me Raakhi Ka Tyohaar He.

Dosti nazaro se ho to use kudarat kahate hai

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Dosti nazaro se ho to use kudarat kahate hai,
Sitaro se ho to use zannat kahate hai,
Husan se ho to use mohabbat kahate hai,
Aur dosti aapse ho to use kismat kahate hai…

Teri dhadkan kahan hai

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Tere dosti me ek nasha hai,
Tabhi to yeh saari duniya hamse khafa hai,
Naa karo hamse itni dosti,
Ki dil hi hamse puchhe teri dhadkan kahan hai

Bhool Na Jana

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Sapno ko Sapna Mankar Bhool Na jana
Dil ki Armano Ko Chod Na Dena
Tum Mein Kashish Hai Kuch Pane ki
Na Mumkin Samajhkar Chod Na dena”

Dil Todkar Muskura Rahe Ho

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Jo Wada Kiya Hai Wo Nibhana Hoga,
Ek Din Laut Kar Tumhe Aana Hoga,
Dil Todkar Muskura Rahe Ho Aaj,
Dekhna Ek Din Tumhe Bhi Pachtana Hoga…

Johny, The American

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A Paksitani boy got admission in an American school.
Teacher: What's your name ?
Boy: Ahmad
Teacher: No, now you are in America your name is Johny from today.
Boy went home. Mom Asked: how was the day Ahmad?
Boy: I am an American now call me Johnny.
Mom & Dad both got offended and beat himup.
Next day he was back to school, all bruised.
Teacher: What happend Johnny?
Boy: Ma'am, just 4 hours after I became American, I was attacked by two Pakistanis.

The Golfer and the Ant Hill

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Once there was a golfer whose drive landed on an anthill. Rather than move the ball, he decided to hit it where it lay. He gave a mighty swing.
Clouds of dirt and sandand ants exploded from the spot. Everything but the golfball. It sat in the same spot.
So he lined up and tried another shot. Clouds of dirt and sandand ants went flying again. The golf ball didn't even wiggle.
Two ants survived. One dazed ant said to the other, "Whoa! What are we going to do?"
Said the other ant: "I don't know about you,but I'm going to get on the ball."

FUNNY INTERVIEW

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Officer : What Is Your Name?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : Tell Me Properly
Candidate : Mohan Pal Sir
Officer : Your Father's Name?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : What Does That Mean ?
Candidate : Manmohan Pal Sir
Officer : Your Native Place
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : Is It Madhya Pradesh ?
Candidate : No, Munnur Pal Sir
Officer : What Is Your Qualification?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : (Angrily) What Is It?
Candidate : Metric Pass
Officer : Why Do You Need AJob ?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : And What Does That Mean?
Candidate : Money Problem Sir
Officer : Describe Your Personality
Candidate : M P. SirOfficer : ExplainYourself Clearly
Candidate : Magnanimous Personality Sir
Officer : This Discussion Is Nowhere, You May Go Now.
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : What Is It Now
Candidate : My Performance.... ?
Officer : Mp !!!
Candidate : What Is That Sir..?
Officer : Mentally Puncture.

Friday 27 July 2012

Different varities of mom..

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Different varities of mom..
.
Dr MUMMY
"ek thapad padhega to theek ho
jaoge"
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AaLSI MUMMy
"ek baat tmhe kitni bar batani
padhti h"
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DHAMKANE WALI MUMMY
"Aane do papa ko, tmhari shikayat
karungi"
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Purani MUMMY
"Jb me tmhari umar ki thi to ghar
ki sari zimedari sambhalti thi"
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Feture WALI MUMMY
"Mjhe pata tha, yeh tute ga"
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CONFUSED MUMMY
"me insan hu k machine!?"
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SELFISH MUMMY
"lunch me parathe tmare liye diye
the ya tmare dosto k liye?"
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SHAKKI MUMMY
"10 me se 10 no.. zrur tmne
cheatin ki hogi":-P
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Par inn sb ke baad b
BEST hai hum sbki MUMMY:-):-)
Love you mom
how many of you loves your
mom ???hit like & cmnt

Sardar Ji to Laloo

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Sardar Ji to Laloo: Your friend is kissing your wife in your home.
Laloo rushed home angrily.
After half an hour, he came back and slapped the Sardarji.
Laloo said: You fool, he is not my friend.

Thursday 26 July 2012

Don't play with students

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Question: "How to Kill an Ant??"
Asked in an Exam for 10 Marks!!
Student:
Mix Chilli Powder with Sugar,
&
keep It Outside the Ant's Hole..!
After eating, Ant will Search for some Water near a Water tank.
Push ant in to it.. =!!
Now Ant will go to Dry itself Near Fire,
When it Reaches fire, Put a Bomb into D fire..!!
Then Admit Wounded Ant in ICU..!! =O
And Then Remove Oxygen Mask from it's Mouth and Kill the Ant..!! =|
MORAL:
Don't Play with Students.. !!
They can Do any thing for 10 Marks..

Andaaz Acha Lagta Hai

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Fuloo me gulab achha lagta hai…
Neendoan mai khuwab achha lagta hai…
Tum u he muskuratey raho,
tumhara andaj achha lagta hai….

A perfect girl doesnt exist

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A Perfect Girl Doesn't Bother...
Doesn't Shout.. Doesn't Flirt With Others..
Doesn't Lies.. Doesn't Cheat..
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And Doesn't ExiSts.. :D :D
Clappinggg

Laughter Dose

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Ek Aurat coma Me chali Gai
Pati Murda Samjh kar Jalane chala...Raste me arthi Khambe se Takrane se aurat ko Hosh aa gaya
1 saal Baad Aurat Sach me mar gayi
Sab Log RAM NAM SATYA hai bolte ja rhe the
Lekin Pati Ki zuban pe ek hi baat thi
KHAMBA BACHA ke
KHAMBA BACHA kea

Laughter Dose

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Ek Aurat coma Me chali Gai
Pati Murda Samjh kar Jalane chala...Raste me arthi Khambe se Takrane se aurat ko Hosh aa gaya
1 saal Baad Aurat Sach me mar gayi
Sab Log RAM NAM SATYA hai bolte ja rhe the
Lekin Pati Ki zuban pe ek hi baat thi
KHAMBA BACHA ke
KHAMBA BACHA kea

Amazing love story of the year

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Amazing love story of the year....
Girl: or mera kutta kesa hai??
boy: mein teek kamini tu
bol??...
girl- mein b teek or zaleel kya ho rha hai
Boy- kuch ni ullu ki pathi tu bata??girl- mein tujhse baat kar rahi hu na manhoos.
Boy- acha kamini...
girl- chal dafa ho kuttay
boy-tu bi fut le
this is called true lovez...

Wednesday 25 July 2012

Pura din ladkiyon se kyun baate karta hai

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Teacher to student: nalayak class mein pura din ladkiyon se kyun baate karta hai..
Student: madam mai gareeb hun , mere sms b free ni hain aur fb ka recharge b ni kar sakta..

Sunday 22 July 2012

Bhagwan ko gussa kab aata hai?

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Bhagwan ko gussa kab aata hai?
jab koi ladki shadi se pahle pregnant ho,
Aur uski maa bole "HEY BHAGWAN YE TUNE KYA KIYA?"

Thursday 19 July 2012

GEETA me likha hai karam karo fal ki chinta mat karo.

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Pdhai kro fail hone se mat dro
Ldkiyan chedo bdnami se mat dro
Hr ldki ko prpos kro inkar se mat dro
Kyun ki GEETA me likha hai karam karo fal ki chinta mat karo.

Wednesday 18 July 2012

It's Love you won't Understand

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A Five year old boy was try to write a letter
Dad: what are you writing my son?
Son: Love letter to my girlfriend
Dad: do u know how to write?
Son: No!! So what She also doesn't know how to read It's Love Dad you won't
Understand :P ;)

Tuesday 17 July 2012

CHOOSE CAREER CAREFULY

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10 year Income......
Teacher 25 Lakh
Engineer 45 Lakh
IAS 70 Lakh
Dr. 1 Crore
Nirmal baba 238 Crore
Ramdev 1177 Crore
Satyasai 4000 crore
CHOOSE CAREER CAREFULY
Chhodo Ghar baar,
chalo Haridwar....... ........
♥ V ♥

Monday 16 July 2012

Really girls are so intelligent...:

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Really girls are so intelligent...: )
Boy: hey i have just intalled windows8 in mypc :D
Girl: kis jamaane ka hai gawaar..i'm using window98..jaane kaha kaha se chale aate h!!
(ladka chup hi ho gya,u know we shud neva argue with Idiots or the person watching wont be able to tell the difference:P :P)

ye pyar kya hota hai

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Larki (sharma k):
Ye Pyar kya hota hai?
Larka:
Pyar ka rishta 2 insanon main
Wohi hota hai jo cement or rait k
darmiyan pani ka hota hai Farz
karo
Larka=cement
Larki=rait
Love=pani
Ab agar cement or rait ko aapas
main
mila diya jaye to wo strong nahi
honge Lekin
Agar in main pani mix kar diya
jaye to
koi in ko juda nahi kar sakta
Larki (hans k):
Kameenay tu CIVIL ENGINEER hai
na?;):-)

Sunday 15 July 2012

Subha aram se utho.

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Agar subah jaldi uthnese
takat,
buddhhi,
aur dhan badhta hai,
to paperwala aur dudhwala sabsetandrust / amir hota..
galatfaimi me mat jayiye;
aramse utiiye.

Time pass kar rahe hai....

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Train me 2 aadmi safar kar rahe
the..
1st- Kahan se arahe ho?
2nd- Lahore se
1st- Wahan se to main bhi
araha hun... Lahore me kahan se
arahe ho?
2nd- Iqbal town
1st- Wahan se to main bhi
araha hun ye batao Iqbal town
me kahan se arahe ho?
2nd- Street 2 se...
1st- Wahan se to main bhi
araha hun ye batao street 2 se
kis ke ghar se arahe ho?
2nd- Basheer sahab ke ghar se
1st- Wahaan se to main bhi
araha hun aacha ye batao
kahaan jaa rahe ho?
Aas paas ke musafiron ne tang
aake kaha akhir tum dono ho
kaun??
Dono bole- Hum dono bhai hain,
time pass kar rahe hai.....>:O =))

4 bewakoof doston ki kahani.

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4 bewakoof doston ne mil ke petrol pump khola.
1 bhi customer nahi aaya ..
Kyun..?
petrol pump was on 1st floor..
Chal ek aur
Fir charo ne usi floor pe restuarent khola.
1 bhi customer nahi..
Kyu..?
petrol pump ka board nai hataya..
Chal ek aur
Fir charo ne 1 taxi li.
1 bhi sawari nahi.
Kyu..?
2 dost aage and 2 piche baith ke sawari dhund rahe the..
Chal ek aur
Taxi kharab ho gayi.
Charo ne khud dhakka lagaya.
but taxi wahi ki wahi.
Kyu.?
2 aage se and 2 piche se dhakka de rahe the..
Chal ek aur
Fir charo ne 1 bachhe ko
kidnap kiya.
Bachhe ko kaha ghar ja apne baap se 5 lac rs le kar aa.
warna tujhe maar denge.
Bachha ghar gaya aur uske papa ne paise de bhi diye.
Kyu..?
bachhe ka bap bhi un bewakoofon ka dost tha..

Rishtey nahi FARISHTEY aate hai.

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Ek 80 saal ke bade miya ne shaadika "ADD" newspaper me diya
kuch din baad letter aya
Chacha, is umar me rishtey nahi FARISHTEY aate hai.

Monday 2 July 2012

Height of Bad English

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Santa to Banta:
"Wen will u get married?"
.
Banta- 1st i wil marry my younger sister,
then my father wil marry me

i m the class teacher of ur son

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Lady on phone -
hi sir,
I want to meet and talk 2 u,
u r the father of my kid.
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MAN stunned,
omg! R u riya? ...no..
Anu?....no...
Pari? No
jasi? No
lady in confusion.
Lady : No sir i m the class teacher of ur son

Tuhada dada kehra Aande dinda

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Santa jor jor naal ro reha c..
Banta: kyon ro reha ae??
Santa: saadi kukdi mar gayi..
Banta: Sada dada mar gaya
assi taan v
nai roye..
Santa: Tuhada dada kehra
Aande dinda
c..hahahah

NaamKe Pehle Ya Baad Me Princess Ya Angel

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Kripya Ladkiya Apne NaamKe Pehle
Ya Baad Me Princess Ya Angel Na
Lagaaye,
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Kyunki Aapki Shakal Dekhne Ke Baad
Kaafi Ladkon Ka Angels Se Vishwaas
Uthta Nazar Aa Raha Hai. . .. .
sahi hai na bhailog ?:p:D:D:D:D:p
 

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